Sleeping DisastersI know for darn sure I am not the first mother to whine, complain and moan about their child's sleeping (or non sleeping) habits. There have been hundreds of books written to help us with this development "issue" but here is my rant. From day one we get asked if our child is sleeping through the night..this either determines if our baby is a good baby or if we are good mothers. Evan was the typical newborn and to be honest... the first 6 weeks are a blur of adrenaline and exhaustion. He did start to sleep through the night (7 hours straight) at 6 weeks for 6 glorious weeks until he hit 3 months at which point he has never slept through the night for more than a few consecutive nights in a row. He is now three years old.
At three months old he started waking and feeding often, sometimes every 45 minutes. I later learned that soothers are a mother's best friend and now at three we are still trying to break him of the habit. It was cute at three months, not so cute at three years but that is a whole other blog.
When Evan was 8 months old, a well-meaning friend, whose child slept throught night, noticed my dark circles and bags under my eyes suggested I try formula at night. Maybe he was not getting enough milk and just needed that extra kick to tie him over. Fat chance! I gave him formula and he was done nursing. Now instead of nursing, he wanted 3-4 bottles through the night. After my three day depression induced by losing my dream of nursing for 18 months was done, I realized I was no further ahead and so the late night feedings continued, except with a bottle which was way more work.
Over the past couple of years, Evan has still not slept through the night. We went from the co-sleeping method to the crying-it-out method. You name it. We have tried it.
Fast forward to present day. My darling, lovely three year old decided to give up all naps shortly before he turned three (just a few weeks ago). When he did not want naps before, he was put in his crib and forced to sleep or be stuck doing nothing. He usually slept. Then, suddenly, he learned the skill of leaping out of his crib, which led to him never napping and becoming a toddler mini-monster. The child needs his naps but does not want his naps. We did eventually put him in a toddler bed to prevent a trip to the Children's Hospital with broken limbs at 4am when he hops out of bed.
My darling two year old turned into a crazy, overtired, tantrum- throwing (one lasted almost an hour!) terror. A girlfriend once told me that it is not the terrible twos, it is the terrible threes! I could not believe it. I stared in shock at this little creature with veins bursting out of his head screaming at me that he wants to watch Dora. No sooner had I put on Dora then he screamed he wanted Toopy. So I switched to Toopy. Then he screamed, "No, I want to watch Dora!" Another time I gave him some chocolate as requested. He threw it on the ground protesting that he did not want chocolate. I picked it up and he started crying that he wanted chocolate. Repeat about 3 or 4 times and you get the picture. I have never been told by so many people that I look tired. I really underestimated the value of that afternoon nap and how much it contributed to my sanity!
To regain my sanity, I registered Evan in pre-school. I felt so guilt enrolling him but I could not help it. I wanted to be a stay at home mom and keep him home longer, so I had decided not to register him in pre-school at all. And here I was doing the unthinkable! When whining to my friends, who all have their kids in pre-school, some were a little defensive and asked me if I thought they were bad parents because they had their kids in pre-school. I immediately insisted that our motivations were completely different. They had registered their children in pre-school for all the great things it offers. Socialization, learning, activities..you know, great things about pre-school. I, on the other hand, was purely putting my child in school because he was driving me NUTS! By the way, Evan loves pre-school and I highly recommend it!
So yesterday, I just knew that Evan would need a nap. I prepped him from the time he woke up. I told him were going to a play date at a friend's house, then lunch, then visit Daddy at work and then nap time. At lunch time we went over it again, we will visit Daddy at work and then naptime. When visiting his dad, he told him he was going home to have a nap. Brainwashing is mighty powerful. We got home and, after a little negotiation over watching a 15 minute Toopy episode, I got him to nap. Evan slept three wonderous hours. I got so much accomplished. I took a shower, shaved my legs, did laundry, dishes and well..worked on this website. It was wonderful. Evan woke up and he was completely refreshed, charming and cuddly (so rare these days). He was delightful and charming, playful and cute, helpful and sweet for the rest of the day...until 11:00pm. OMG! So what should I do??? When he does not nap he is a holy terror but goes to sleep at 7:00pm, sleeps 12 hours and the night is mine (yay)! When he does nap, I get a break in the day but then he is up until 11:00 at night and then twice through the night. What do I do? What do I do? Today the decision was made for me. He fell asleep watching Toopy and slept for almost an hour on the couch. Hmmm we will have to wait and see what the night holds...
Melissa
CommentsDo you have any words of wisdom on getting your child to sleep? Or any stories of your own sleeping disasters? We would love to hear them! What Other Visitors Have SaidClick below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
oh I understand
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